Sunday, November 22, 2009
Interpreter of Dreams Needed...
I am no dreamer, I have never been one... Dont get me wrong,I have those grandiose plans for the future that are wrongly catalogued as 'DREAMS' that someday I shall loftily sum up for my dog or my child - at the rate at which Im going looks like it will be the former, declaring things that could possibly begin : 'When I was ten, I sensed that this was the destination that I will reach'.... Ok, so now that we have established that's not the kind that Im referring to in this post....but to the variety that Sigmund Freud and his gang interpreted...I shall go on... Couple of my friends suggested its perhaps that I might be those that don't remember the adventures I embark on when asleep..Now that's possible, but the truth is every morning I normally wake up, like I have returned from 'The Dark Abyss'..no street marks or sign posts to denote that I travelled anywhere else... Once in six months or so - I see a dream...And it stays with me...I see it, feel it, hear it, smell it and sometimes the after taste is so strong, Im sure that I lived it.. Some months back, I remember seeing a very ordinary dream...But then i saw the sun and felt the rain and remembered having a very fluffy omlette as I sat filling the crossword, and the dream was so colourful, right down to remembering to buy flowers that many of my friends who read about my dream even tried to locate the cafe that I dreamed about..It was that palpable.. But yesterday, I saw another one....I can't say it was rosy as my last one..In fact, it was right out of one of those Doomsday Hollywood films.. (Image Courtesy:evelinehanson.com Here I was sitting at my desk,stumbling through the reams of reading that have now become part and parcel of my life...when I felt like hardboard cracking inside my mouth...I felt around with my tongue and realised there were jagged edges of my teeth and some pieces that came away as I did my little survey...So I picked them up and put them on the white paper in front of me..Went back to my reading....locking my upper and lower jaw against each other to prevent any more voluntary destruction.. And suddenly my mouth caved in...Literally...my teeth just disintegrated, they just broke away..I had brick like white pieces in my hands..my mouth felt like a demolition drive had just happened...and I panicked... I skyped ma, and she told me wisely that perhaps I had inherited poor dental structure too from my Dad's side, along with most other traits....She didn't even seem overly concerned...and there I thought we go again, listing out what each of us got and from whom...another latent power tussle between Dad and Mom to take credit for the arguably 'wonderful creations of theirs'.. Here I was like panting and breaking into cold sweat at the sight of my ruined oral cavity, teeth looking like jagged pieces of asbestos in my hand, and my Mom was trying to see if this was something my Dad's family genes were responsible for... Huge plops of tears were rolling down my eyes and I know it was leaking into my mouth too, mixing saltiness into that steely metallic feel of blood in the mouth.. And I woke up like that, with my hand cupped, ready to see the pieces of teeth I held there, in the morning light.. I'm not a dreamer...not at all.. (Image Courtesy:kathysart.com) Even when I saw no blood and gore in my hand, I was sure it was no dream... The metallic taste was still there in my mouth..and my mouth kept twitching with the remembered violence as I stood before the washstand, checking out my teeth...They seem undamaged, physically..wonder if they can be psychologically damaged.. What did the dream mean? I tried checking up on the Net...No answers forthcoming..It can't be dismissed as just another ordinary dream, if I lived a lifetime of fear and worry and tasted blood, can it??