Friday, July 09, 2010

Oh Why, Oh Why?!!

So I have been tagged again...The Analyst ensures that I don't feel left out, a lone ranger in the blogosphere. I first saw this tag on The IndianHomeMaker's blog. I followed it on several blogs that I follow pretty regularly. I wasn't sure if I had much to write. But once I started writing, it was fun...

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes are primarily a set of questions - I'm open to debate, ..A sensible point is always welcome, I don't entertain rants..Some are confessions, others are points I ponder over..

1. I have sinned against concepts of feminine allure - I like strong manly colognes over subtle whiffs of girly fragrances for myself. Thankfully there seem to be enough perfumes made for woMen like me..

2. I don't think that my prototype was fashioned out of Adam's spare rib...It gives me no happiness to hear that, just makes me unbearably argumentative.

3. Feminism is not a dirty word - I hate that gender stereotype of an outspoken woman being branded as a bra-burning feminist. Having an opinion has nothing to do with the decision to wear a bra or abandoning it altogether

4. Why do girls have to grow up to be like their mothers? Moms out there, take no offense, you rock - but why stereotype moms as 'homely' and then take the insult a step further by creating suffocating moulds for their daughters to fit in or be labelled 'rebels'?

5. Why does an unmarried Indian woman over 28 have to answer the World and His Uncle why she isn't married yet? Why is remaining choosy at 30 plus seen as a sign of 'sour grapes' or a desperate excuse for masking faults? 

6. Why do 'Man among Men' have to have booming voices and/or be Tall, Dark and Handsome?

7. Who said being emotional is a feminine attribute? What is a masculine and feminine attribute? Most of my macho cousins 'cry like girls', while the girls are 'as brash as boys'..damn stereotypes..

8. Why do men who enjoy cooking and knitting rather than watching football while guzzling down pints of beer have to always hope that their friends will give them 'the benefit of the doubt' over their masculinity? Does it have to be asserted by having a girlfriend in tow?

9. Continuing from point 8, why do girls who are more passionate about sports than girlie frills have to suffer the tag of either being dubbed tomboys or pseudos trying to desperately fit in with their guy buddies?

10. Why does God have to be a Man, and why, oh why do people have to shake their head so vigorously in agreement when someone claims that God must be a Man? Can't he be an Elephant for all we really care? Does making him a Man solve the mystery over how the earth evolved or what's currently happening here? Conversely, Why blame Men for everything going wrong? ;)

( Another stereotyped peeve - So who said women are bad drivers? That men drive better?)


  1. These are questions everybody should read and remember. Loved your take. Why is it seen as wrong that each one of us is unique and has their own taste, trait and temperament?

  2. I loved both the images and the 2 makes me see what a combination of misogyny and a good imagination can do.

    3. I completely agree. A blogger said, "Feminism, whichever way you define it, I am it."A lot of these pictures of aggressive feminists are created to discourage rational arguments against gender bias.

    And 10. A comment in the blogosphere complained about how radical 'liberated' women were becoming, 'they actually mind that god is male'. And who decided that god is male?

  3. You are invited to join other SAGS on facebook :)

  4. hey D...Loved your tag...very fresh viewpoint...

  5. Hmm. What weird tags are actually wandering around the blogosphere? I wonder.

  6. Kind of expected a bash post here, I guess in some ways your mind is trained to ask questions, journalism in your blood I guess...and #6 dark and handsome, what about fairness cream for men? ;)

  7. IHM: Thanks for making me think..And Analyst: Thanks for the shove..I refuse to sin against Fairness creams for men..;)Its just not Fair I say..

    Arjit: Some tags are good fun, especially those that make you think into posting something constructive..Most of the people I'd have tagged were already roped in by someone or the other, so I didn't do it myself...Would you want to be tagged? Write a Virgin piece on it??

    V: I'm still digesting your announcement that you are quitting Lancaster..:) Guess we shall share our minds here..:)

  8. Liked your views on it! By the way, I had tagged you as well :) I too prefer the male scented perfumes/ deos tend to be musk scented. :D

  9. You see like everything else, life provides guidelines and dare I say benchmarks.
    the trouble starts, when these are flouted, abused or misinterpreted.

    life is about a balance not an extreme. Either end of the spectrum is not fun.

    Good post.

  10. Thank you, Journomuse (Lovely nomenclature, btw :) ! You articulate beautifully a lot of questions and notions that many of us "sinners" have!
    Wrt, Adam's Rib... Ha! Could the reverse not have happened?
    Feminism, is basically humanism as a lot of us see it!
    Women drivers are better :D! Am all for that particular point!
    Loved reading the list! Thanks IHM, for sharing the link :) :)

  11. Deeps, love your post!
    I was recently reading a book that I found very interesting because the little girl who saw visions of God said God was female. This leads to unrest within the church. Even rabbis come forward to discuss faith and what it truly means. During the course of the book (amidst various discussions between people of faith), someone said something that made sense. He said God was neither male nor female. Giving God a physical form was man's doing. However, if God chose to appear to a child he'd take on the form of a man, a woman, or a child. Interesting I thought!
    While on stereotypes. WE were having this disccusion with some family members, coz I got Adiv a cooking set. I think we create stereotypes by giving boys only cars and guns, while girls are given dolls. I didn't want to do that with Adiv. He loves his cars, but he also enjoys cooking, and singing to his doll. I don't think he'll be less of a man when he grows up. Some family members beg to differ.
    Fortunately for me, I have a husband who is a feminist. He loves to cook, doesn't think the kitchen is my domain, and has always insisted on equality. I'm glad Adiv has such a father to look up to!

  12. Gyanban: Why benchmarks that are skewed one way? If they were made earlier, then shouldn't we be questioning them now? My point is that women are no more waiting for men to wait hand and foot on them by playing docile. I want the good and bad out of gender stereotyping, have seen men suffer from these stereotypical categorisations too...

    Usha: Welcome to my blog. :) I'm glad you agree

    Roopa: So Awesome..I'm so glad you have thought parenting out through and I hope there are more young men like Adiv in the next generation who is comfortable enough in his skin not to make excuses for having a softer (dare I say, more appreciative) side..:)

  13. Sooo true D! I hope that this blog is read my atleast a handful of those people that are soo stereotypical!!

    P.S Oh for those men that cook and not drink beer while watching football; its time that they grew a pair and not give a damm! :)

  14. Hayaah: Thanks..:) Welcome to my blog..

    Zubin: I loved your P.S..:) Damn them..

  15. In my head I am a person without gender but when society looks at me it see only the curves and the role I am expected to play. If I am to remain in society, I must play its game its way every time I am on it's radar...but inside my home and my mind I am free.

  16. You know what? I have read this tag before. But you really nailed it. And this was so refreshingly different.
    I so agree with points 3, 6..What the heck! I agree with everything that you said! :)

  17. down to earth honest rant!
    lovely post!

  18. Amen to being choosy! Totally identify with that one... Funny, interesting post this.

  19. Nalini: I wish we didn't have to set the limits on where we are free and where we need to watch ourselves..Mindsets in Kerala frustrate me no end..

    Choco: :) :) :)We agree therefore we are..Now did I make that up too?? Hmmmmm...

    Magiceye: Thanks :) even if you think its a rant..;)

    Eye-in-sty-in: Nice name..:) Welcome to my blog.Is that to help people pronouce your name right?

  20. Ooh this post is such a treat. I have been questioning these forever now and I keep getting oh-u-are-a-tomboy comments when I sit down for a football match ..phew..
    P.S : I hated it when Preity Zinta was called the only man after her courtroom appearance about the underworld threats.It was discussed for weeks amongst my friends.

  21. Oh, thank you.. I like yours too... You would be amazed to know how many ppl have thought I have a sty in my eye or vice versa. I like to believe they were jesting!

  22. The country we live worships women as god... not men..
    No. of Goddess out numbers the gods :)

  23. As long as you keep being the honest human being you are, dear Deepthy, what does it matter that you fit or not with stereotypes of man or woman? Nice to see you asserting yourself.

  24. I obviously agree with you.
    good post!

  25. Vignesh: Outnumbered gods also seem to ensure that the goddesses are placed high up on a pedestal, in a controlled atmosphere with little room to manouevre or 'have a life' like them..;)

    Ana_Treek: Cheers!

    Joe: As always, Thank You for the Thumbs Up

    Fonty: Welcome to my Blog, :)