Friday, September 28, 2012

Ayyo Amma Madrassi!!

I hate being called a Madrassi!!

The promos of the new Rani Mukerji film Aiyyyyaaa, suggests it is about the Marathi mulgi wanting to marry a Madrassi ladka, while resorting to obscene gyrations in skimpy clothes to suit the Madrassi fantasy of feminine allure while screaming Pullingum and Streelingum and everything in between just makes me want to scream my frustration from the rooftops!!!! And dare you say, develop a sense of humour! I'd say say that to me after you get your facts right!

We of the races of the brown skinned,  do not all trace our lineage to the unimaginatively homogenised population of brown/black/dark skinned men and women. The depictions are always of resplendent nine-yard silk sarees, a yellow cloth bag and white 'lungis' and of course a couple of 'Ayyo Ammas' thrown in for good measure. We are all stamped with the royal seal of being the citizens of the erstwhile Madras.Even if your history is strong enough to help you argue that Madras was also the name of the Residency that comprised of five princely states encompassing a larger geographical area than the city, I'd still tell you to go back and read up on how even in the days of the British Raj, Mysoreans and Hyderabadis would have killed if they were all clubbed with the Madrassis!!!

The region called South India or Dakshin Bharat of today comprises of four states not one. Our scripts differ, our languages differ and if you ask any 'Madrassi', they will probably be able to identify the region from which the other Madrassi ( as you tag us) is from with microscopic preciseness!!

Now, that we have set the tone for the post, let me clarify - this isn't a rant! We have so much to rant about which have already been ranted about - The Ayyos, the Ammas, the Rajnikanth jokes (which I must agree we also louuuve to participate in), the Nariyal and Nariyal tel jibes. But amidst all this, I was trying to see what are the points of commonality that could make me look the other way, when someone calls me Ohhh you Madrassi!

Guess what I came up with - FOOD. Food is the greatest unifier ever. I was looking at international cuisine and I realised that every region has its own cuisine and what we call Italian - could be Roma, Napolitan, Sicilian and what not. Take Chinese food for instance - (Ahhh not those made in oily unclean woks in your neighbourhood by the Bihari boy, who came to be a cleaner at the neighbourhood kirana shop! ) - the spicier versions can be from Sichuan, Manchurian is in fact a regional style of cooking from Manchuria and not all that is red and batter fried!

Coming back to the Madrassi point I was making, I was explaining it to someone very dear but very ignorant about 'Madrassi ways' that there is no South Indian/Madrassi khana or food category! 

Malayali cuisine is leaps and jumps different from Tamilian or Kannadiga fare. The fiery Telugu fare is a class apart! Now this led to the interesting twist in the tale - the ignorant posed the next question - so whose cuisine is idlis, dosas and sambar? Now you have me stumped!! In Kerala, we make doshas, in Tamil Nadu dosais, Kannadigas do dosas too!! Hmmm...I can tell you a madrassi sambar from a Malayali sambar and the kannada or telugu saaru.  A sambar without coconut oil tadka isn't kosher in Kerala - try serving that in any of the other three states and the finicky nose would shrivel up quicker than you can say sambar! But then come to think of it, these are all the culinary interpretations of multiple chefs speaking four different languages to cater to the palate of four different brown-populations!! Similarly an idli by another other name would taste just as divine with coconut chutney, sambar and the podi (known to the uninitiated as gun-powder!) The taste of the podi might differ, but the concept is the same - the rendering different.

On this subject- a delicate clarification - if you are in Kerala, you can ask for and get a sadya. ( That's a traditional Onam sadya in the photo alongside!) Go to Madras and ask for one, and you might draw a blank unless the person you asked this of  is a Malayali (which is a pretty plausible possibility anywhere in the world!). Sappadu in Tamil Nadu is verrrrrrry different from the sadya in Kerala. Comparing the two might be like comparing mozarella cheese and mascarpone cheese!

So the other day I made rasam and then ran to the nearest Udipi and picked up vadas - medu vadas to you, uzhunnu vadas to me and udad vadas to some! And then plopped it with that yummmmm sound into the boiling rasam..Left it there for about half an hour, ladled it into two steel bowls and in three minutes flat, the bowls would have looked unused were it not for that lingering smell and a stray bit of kari-patta that was ignored..And the satiated tummy sent a placatory message to the seething brain - 'No one knows which of the four South Indian cooking moghuls made the rasam or the vada. But whoever did, created a widely replicated masterpiece.'

So if you swoon Ayyo Amma you Madrassis and how you cook this, I'll probably be benevolent enough to smile at you and pass you another bowlful of yumminess. For the rest of the time, I'd say forget it and pass you a Social Studies text book to get your history, geography and general knowledge up to speed!!!

35 comments:

  1. hehhehehehhe...lovely read....deeps..i think its a common problem...for southies anybody other than than south indian, is 'north indian'...no concept of east or west...all punjabis are 'sardars'...im married to a punju since last 9 yrs and even now atleast one person in my village asks me, where's his turban?!!!!! so its just ignorance from both parts....:) and btw....ur gonna kick my butt...but i found the song amusing and entertaining:)

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    1. That's true, but I doubt if a South Indian tars a Bihari, Gujarati and Punjabi as a Punjabi..Calling people North Indian is different from tagging us a Madrassi...It isn't ever said kindly..It is said with a connotation!

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  2. Yes Yes Yes..you are so right..I really got pissed off at the one scene where she says mujhe gore log nahi pasand, mujhe kaale log pasand hai..I mean, wtf!

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    1. Aahhhh...finally a fellow south Indian who takes umbrage at the promos that make me want to puke!!

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    2. Seriously??? There is a scene promoting that??? WTF?!

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  3. This reminds me of the time when my mother worked as a nurse(yes, she followed the stereotype)in Mumbai. One of the the other nurse, who joined recently, was like 'Shweta Nair'? You are a madrassi? From which point my mother intentionally did a bad bhaiyya accent.

    Also what's wrong with liking kala log? I used to have massive crushes on Sanaa lathan and Zoe Saldana. Black Women are gorgeous! So are other women btw, but you get my point.

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    1. Hahaha! I love your anecdotes.. The point about the kala log wasn't about the colour hangup, more about the homogenisation and stereotyping of how we all look like each other. Much the same racist way, that all the Orientals are dubbed chinkis or chaptas - irrespective of whether they are from Korea, China or Japan and all the Africans are one homogenised continent!!

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  4. I couldn't agree with you more!

    Belonging to andhra but being labelled as a madrasi by all the northies, I completely oppose this movie ayya and the disgusting pelvic thrusts that Rani makes in the name of depicting south-indian dance

    While I used to study in Bangalore, all the northies used to look down on south indians and jibe on the idlis, rasam, coconut oil, lungis....to name a few.

    Once my gujju classmate mocked at me calling me 'a rasam eating girl' to which I retorted 'you dhokla eating face! u gujjus are the reason why Reid and Taylor might come up with Flowery printed shirts'. Oh and he received the blow and left me alone ever since.

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    1. That's a very good way to shut up smart alecs.. :) Rani Mukerji seriously makes me cringe in a way Vidya Balan didn't! Perhaps its that lampooning style in Rani's mannerisms that really bug me bad!!

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  5. hmmm you mean all south indians are not madrasis :) to be honest it is only after coming to mumbai that I learnt to differentiate between the food of the fours states of south...or the people too... my first roomie for eg was andhra

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    1. I'm in Kerala through the next month, Kalyan...so I'm definitely going to be eating my way through some 'Madrassi' khana..;) The palate/taste/preferences of all the four states are soooo vastly different, its surprising that people think its one and the same!! Ohhh and you must must use your so very popular blog to write about the 'SOUTH-INDIAN' cuisine..:)

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  6. Thank you so much for this post! :) I am tired of being called a Madrasi all the time, and this particular Rani Mukherjee song just grates on my nerves!

    Loved the way you have brought out the subtle differences among the four major states of South India. I should probably put this post on my FB account to make the points loud and clear.

    That said, I have found a similar ignorance among people of South India about the rest of the country too. Ahmedabad is not ONLY famous for its communal riots. All Gujaratis do not eat oily, sugary food and do garba all day. All North-easterners are not Chinkis. I think we just need to be more aware as a whole, and be willing to learn about the uniqueness of each part of India.

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    1. I totally agree with you about our love for generalities and stereotyping..In fact, the way Indians talk is filled with such generalisations!! :) However, my problem with Madrassis is the same problem I have with 'Chinkis'. It is derogatory and displays a wilful ignorance and dismissal of differences! :)

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  7. Oh, and there has always been stereotyping in the Hindi film industry. An drunk would always be from Goa, have a funny way of talking, and be called Albert Pinto or something. A Sati-Savitri kind of woman would be called Meera or something, while a woman who goes to pubs and parties would be called Veronica!

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    1. Bollywood is indeed a mirror of our society as it exists, so can't be surprised! :)

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  8. Stereotypes piss me off. Period. I am a Tamilian but born and lived in Bombay. I'd always get the "you don't sound like a South Indian" from people who would meet me and find out my mother tongue technically was Tamil. They all expected me to talk like the stereotypical movies portray south Indians. I haven't seen the promo you are talking about but I totally hear your frustration around the issue of being painted with the same brush without any knowledge...

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    1. So true.. you must watch the promo on youtube Psych Babbler. I might hear your scream all the way from Australia here in Mumbai.. :) :) :)

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  9. hey! lovely post.stereotypes do prevail and they amuse me (they somehow don't tick me off)to no end. Like when I was in gulf working in a school , i was the only one non keralite there on our floor (the only non south indian for that matter )and they all stamped me a northie and asked me recipes ranging from maharashtra to delhi . I received some compliments like -you have no airs about you despite you being a north indian OR you don't have any preferance for northy friends and gel so well with us.Ignorance about each other is very joyful because it makes you inquisitive about each others and fosters friendship bonds by realising that we may be coming from different parts of the world, feelings and emotions remain the same.

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    1. Interesting perspective Kirti....I have faced this Madrassi thing a lot since I began working. They couldn't understand at the first news channel that I worked in as to how this Madrassi can speak such good hindi, despite living in the south!! Then it became a wilful dismissal of my protests that I'm a Keralite not a Madrassi, when they realised that it was a good way to get my coat. So it isn't ignorance, its being deliberately obtuse and disinterested in understanding the folly of their ways that irks me!!

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  10. Jisha Kishore Kumar1 October 2012 at 14:48

    Hahaahaa...simply loved the post...reminded me of a Palestinian who once told me that I look like a "Madrassi" and before I could utter a word, as if affirming himself said that my features and curly hair shouts that I'm one, but I'm bit fairer than the rest...:):)

    And thumps up to the way you ended the post...!!

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    1. :) Jisha as always, your comments and anecdotes make me smile!!

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  11. nice post :)

    I grew up in the middle east and southies were classified into "Madrasis" and "Malabaris" .. in an insulting way... Malabaris were mostly from Kerala. I had to learn to ignore it way back in school.. The northie kids in school picked it from their parents who are intentionally ignorant.

    Anyway- may be the school scene has changed - this was 20 years ago.

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    1. Ignorance can be cured, intentional ignorance is a malaise!! Btw, I realise this Malabari thing is a very Gellllffff symptom..I have heard this myself but only in the Gulf! :)

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  12. Nice post again. (Perfect ending !!!) We as a nation, find it very easy racially stereotyping people with no regards the cultural/social bacokground (NE India, as whole is still one state, or most people think so). I had this problem when my roommate still believe sab south ka khana ek hi tarah ka hota hai.

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    1. Hey Analyst...Just when I think you have disappeared into the reams of millions among the blogworld never to shout back to me, there you pop up! And once again the smile of the familiar appears back on my face as I shout back out through the reams of millions - Hey you...how you Madrassi? ;) ;) Rasam-vadas await!! Hahahaha

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  13. I feel like I should defend the middle east. I was actually born in Bahrain. We lived in an apartment complex and there was an Arab couple near us. I think they were childless. My parents would often leave me with the woman. She found me a relief to her loneliness and adored me. I remember vaguely how I would just munch down everything in her house. She would teach me the numbers and the alphabet.

    When I was 5 years old, we had to leave Bahrain, and I still can't erase the image of her beautiful face covered in tears. She embraced me one last time. I think she saw me as her son, and I felt really sad about leaving her.

    So I am somewhat sensitive about the Arab stereotype.

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    1. Well, stereotypes hit hard when you know its just that and isn't really depictive of the bigger picture..It is like a caricaturing that is fun to begin with, but becomes repetitive and painfully tedious with frequent repetition.

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  14. People in my office are still not aware that there are 4 states in South India and people madras is NOT state! People take pleasure in being ignorant about south india and associate all black things with south. I feel kicking in the a** when I meet such people, thier a** not mine :-) Great post! a BIG LIKE TO THIS!

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    1. Hey thanks Jenny, BIG SMILE on my face, when fellow southies say they feel my pain!! :)

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  15. It is a very good post........even while referring to the dress, everything worn by the south Indians is a 'lungi'. People are unaware of the mundu, veshti or the panche!!!

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    1. So true Savitha.. even the added 'h' that we use in our names - Keert(h)i, Savit(h)a, immediately brings about that Ohhh, you south Indian kya?

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  16. I’ve learn a few just right stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you set to make any such excellent informative website.

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  17. Reading (and obviously commenting) after soo long! This post reminded me of this...not sure if you've seen it. Check it out! (I thought it was funny.)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-zW6f63ZKo&feature=related

    My comment reads so much like one of those spam comments ("Check this out and see for yourself, the effects as it grows...) :D

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    1. Indeed Pavi, was pleasantly surprised to get a notification of your comment. I loved the video and I checked out more of 'Hurry Kondab(a)luuuu's' videos...Giggled my way through the I don't dance to the bungraaa bit..:)

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  18. I did not realise that Prithviraj was acting as the Tamilian. Don't know what to make of a malayali helping to perpetuate Tamilian stereotypes.

    I saw some of the recent Malayalam movies. There's a whole bunch of actors coming out now.

    I mean, the Malayalam film industry was in the pits of hell just a year ago.

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