Monday, December 31, 2007


The last day of the year…Time to take stock..What was done right..Where I faltered..Do I make new resolutions? Whats the fun is they are anyways going to be broken? But today, at my friend’s place, as we sat lounging about, aimless where to go for a night’s dinner or whether we should first have coffee, another buddy came up with the idea..List out a set of things that we would set out to do..eight things for ’08, the year that’s ahead.. thought it was a pretty good idea, considering that I have never been overly fond of lists..Im the last person who would volunteer to make a list, except maybe my grocery shopping, and there too the list is made coz it’s a pain to have to call the supermarket and order the 20 things I actually wanted and not the 50 others I went and picked up…. So there I was making my list, and I forgot to add…these were things that once written, went into a little box at this friend’s place..where it was to remain till the end of the year, when on the New Years Eve, it would be dutifully fished out and then we would do a post mortem of the year that had passed…the idea was that we would have a yardstick to measure the ‘fruitfulness’ of the year..See, like for this year, without yardsticks, the fruitfulness would depend on the mood…if im my usual self, then the year was quite successful otherwise I have my pet, Haves and Havesnot debate to rekindle… So there we were, with our chits of paper and pens…three of us..charting our year ahead…and like always, I tried to chart out realistic goals..or what I think are realistic… Hmm..let me see if just hours later I can remember them… One thing I know for sure, I never made it to the magic 8 figure…the others managed it quite easily…while suddenly in my rather ‘dissatisfied’ life, I had very few burning desires to achieve or even things to alter… Ok, now to the list I want to start painting again..for these days, im plagued by the insecurity that by the time I put brush on canvas, I would have forgotten to paint..or even mix colours to get the right shade…Hmmmm…eminently desirable I want to keep blogging…cant miss out on my only avenue to editorialise, can I? I want to be able to take out time for myself…( means I want to put my foot down and say boss, I work when I work, but I want time off to ‘stand and stare’ like Davies said? I want to meet my parents more often…Ma is always upset that I don’t have time for her…on my priority list.. I want to take atleast one good holiday…hmm..thats something I have been planning for a while, have never gotten around to it… And there was a sixth wish too, which I have already forgotten…And now it remains on that chit of paper, I have signed and sealed and left in that little box till the end of 2008… Hmmm..memory is failing…age is catching up…Not good signs..But the problem is I cant add more wishes to it…Times up…2007 is up too…Whatever I want to undo or change, times gone…No way to get it back..So much for the thought that live life without regrets.. But every year, there are two lines that give me immense strength.. And Im sure Im not the only one to be inspired by Robert Frost… “ Woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep… And miles to go before I sleep..”

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