LOST AND NEVER FOUND

There's a block...I have hit it...and I believe I was priming towards it...The writer's block..

But what perhaps pushed me over the brink is the loss of my camera...Now there are no pictures to write to..and thats how I have always written...Now there are no pictures...and no views to describe.. You know that dirty feeling at the back of your head, that tells you when you misplace something that you know exactly where it is, but that part of the brain which should help you locate it, is numb...was in fact looking the other way, when you left it behind...when it slipped out of your bag...

Even now, nearly a week after I lost it, I still feel its just about the 'moment of click'..that time when it suddenly dawns on you, where exactly it could be...Im still waiting for that moment..Refusing to bury the memory of my Canon digital camera, a Southern Rail train, that was running late between London Victoria and Brighton last Saturday couldn't have swallowed my camera, could it? What about the much famed Lost and Found where most things misplaced or accidently or deliberately forgotten turn up? No such luck with me....

Perhaps its the karma I have scoffed at that people talk about that haunt you through your life...Perhaps its my unwelcoming aura that make people who manage to retrieve things I have lost not want to return it or let me find a way to recover it..Well, the truth is if my mother and I were to sit down and recount the number of valuable things I have lost...that would be a very very long list indeed...Not enough to buy me a house in England, but enough to clothe and feed me for a couple of months in Europe for sure...

So what is it that makes some people so unlucky with their possessions? Especially when they earnestly want to treasure every thing that they possess? It can't be argued that they don't value it, can they? I spent some good money on many of these possessions...and I have cried bitter tears each time I have discovered my loss...But then again, I dust myself up and carry on..and soon enough lose something else.. Well, forget the list I was making earlier....of gold ear rings and bracelets and watches.....and a couple of mobile phones...just hear this out... Two days after I lost my camera, I lost one glove...how did I manage to do that?

Well, beats me...I was so sure I had removed one, slipped it into my coat pocket to retrieve my keys when I got home....and then the memory is blank......I remember getting to my room, untying my scarf and throwing my coat off and discovering I had one black glove on....So I took it off and then began searching for the second one..that I was sure it was in my coat pocket...

But it had been swallowed by nothingness....flushed to the Land of No Return to Me...in the wink of an eye...to join my camera and the assortment of mobiles, and the earrings-bracelets and watches... Well, my optimist being believes the Land of No Return to Me is not going to win the battle against me and my few remaining precious possessions....

And I believe the first sign was when my flatmate managed to hear the clink of my favourite silver earring as it plonked into the muddy grass in the University....Im not sure I heard it too, for if I did, my instinct was to ignore it and walk faster to get out of the bitter evening cold...But she turned back and her eyes fell on it...and till she handed it over to me, I was not prepared to believe I had lost it...
 What's with me?? Maybe what I need to do is find the way to blur the distance between the Lost and the Found...

P.S: Statutory Warning: Till I don't find my camera or get myself sufficiently enthused to buy a new one with my thrifty pounds...the posts could be lacklustre and moany..